Shades of Human (Faerie-Tail Awakening Book 1) Read online

  I shifted, needing to keep this going, needing to fight back the remnants of what I had escaped to be alive and here in the arms of a man I had desired since the very start.

  Adamaris’s lips broke away from mine. “You’re freezing.”

  And yet I felt like I was on fire.

  My stalker’s hands were no longer clinging to me, now traveling up my body and the arm that was out of the water and glued to his neck. My skin prickled at the sliding of his hand, firing off the goosebumps that had already been there. My breaths were still fast, exacerbated by the breathless kisses I’d planted on him, but my teeth were chattering too. The adrenaline, the fear, the passion, and the chilled water flooding over us, it all added to the after effects.

  But I didn’t want this to stop.

  For the first time since Adamaris had shown up, maybe even for the first time since Mamma vanished, I felt alive and safe, and like someone had finally seen the real me with all my baggage and they weren’t running. “I’ll b-be…”

  Adamaris swooped me up before I could stutter out the rest of the words. He cradled me to his chest, that dark look returning to his features as he climbed the embankment and made it to level land. Not much was said as he carried me, except for demanding the key to get inside and having me shut off the alarm. The travel was short, but the revelation spinning through my mind was like a whirlwind. In the days since my stalker showed up, my life had come undone. At the start, I’d cursed him, feared him, and run from him. Now something had shifted. An unexpected realization hit me like a hand clawing into my chest and squeezing around my heart—because I wouldn’t change a thing if it meant losing him.

  Adamaris was the first person who had ever looked out for me. Yeah, he scared the bejeesus out of me, over and over, and acted strange, and was demanding and arrogant. But there was more under his hard exterior. I’d caught tiny hints of it from the start, clues that I’d misinterpreted…until earlier in the week when he revealed the identity of the woman in the photo. We shared a kind of grief that was so damning, the loss of a parent, and it made me understand all the sharp and prickly edges he wore like armor over his expressions, words, and actions.

  I wore that armor too.

  An armor I’d started to shed the moment I let down my guard and kissed him in the river.

  And now there was no going back.

  The door to my loft kicked open, and Adamaris crossed the small space to prop me on the edge of my bed. Dripping wet and chest pumping from carting me up the creaking warehouse stairs, he narrowed his eyes at me, all tender concern long gone. “Undress. You need to get warmed up.” Two steps brought him to the folding table and a new stack of tuna cans, giving me his back and what I guessed was a modicum of privacy. “I’ll make some…” He made a noise of irritation, seeing my lacking food stores. “I could eat tuna until the day the ocean dries up, but where’s the variety?”

  But I wasn’t listening, and I didn’t want privacy.

  Glancing around, even the dirty windows that were dark with minimal moonlight streaming in tightened my chest. “Don’t turn away.” I imagined seeing that monstrous face again. Imagined those claws poking out, curling around the rusted metal window frame to pull my nightmares into a brand new reality. I shivered. “I’m afraid I’ll disappear if you can’t see me.”

  Adamaris turned slowly back around, seeing me stand and turn my back to him, my hand reaching for the zipper of my dress that was almost out of reach.

  “Will you?”

  Adamaris was behind me in an instant, his warm body radiating heat through my dripping black dress. The pressure of his fingers met my back, and then the zip slid down, all the way to my backside. I peeled one shoulder off, freeing my arm before sliding the other out. Holding the material over my chest with one arm, I spun slowly on my toes to face him. Staring up at him, my lips remained parted, needing more air than having my mouth closed could deliver. For the first time in my life, I wanted to be seen. I wanted to be vulnerable. Adamaris stared down at me, an electrical storm raging in his eyes.

  I began to peel the layer down from my chest, and his hand snapped out, strong yet gentle fingers catching my wrist. “Calli, stop. You don’t owe me anything. I saved you because I wanted to, not because I had to or was told to or because it served a purpose. It was my choice, my instinct…”

  “And this is mine.” I pulled down on the cover, and this time he let go, allowing me to peel the material from my chest. His nostrils flared at the sight of my lacy bra, and the look of hunger in his eyes had my nipples hardening under his stare. I gasped a little, pressing the wet material down over my hips before it slapped the ground and I kicked it to the side. Adamaris’s own breathing hiked up a notch, eyes roaming down over my breasts, past my pale stomach, and settling on the lace that barely hid the small patch between my legs. I stepped closer, tracing my hand up from his sopping wet sports jacket to the white collared shirt beneath. I pulled at the buttons. “Take it off. And take me.”

  A sound somewhere between a growl and a groan rumbled up his throat. There was a moment of pure stillness, his breath freezing while mine grew faster. What if he didn’t want me? What if I’d read the hungry stares, sardonic wit, and smirking smiles all wrong?

  I went to step back—

  Adamaris’s strong hand came up and he tore his shirt open, buttons flying as he freed the most perfect view of his drool-worthy chest that gleamed with the sheen of water that hadn’t dried. His jacket and shirt hit the ground—there was no doubt he’d been the guy my art dealer had mentioned in his pristine suit—and then he came forward, capturing my jaw in his strong hands and taking my mouth with his full lips. This time his tongue delved inside, exploring, massaging, wanting more as we breathed for each other. The sensation was intoxicating, the taste of him invading my senses and branding itself on my tongue as if it would never go away. And I didn’t ever want it to. The feeling of his muscular body against mine, his powerful hands that held me with a pressure that was hungry and yet somehow restrained, the way he devoured my lips and growled deep in his throat like a caged animal begging for release, it was everything I’d never known I’d always wanted.

  But I needed more—so much more.

  My hands dropped to his pants, ignoring his deadly sheathed dagger. Unhooking his belt and all but ripping the button and zipper open, I shoved the wet covering down. His pants got stuck halfway, clinging to his legs with how wet they were. But it didn’t stop his kisses that broke from my mouth and trailed up my jaw and to my neck, or him from stabbing his legs down to shove the pants and his shoes off. His clothes and dagger clapped the ground, and then I felt the smoothness below his belly button. A glance down revealed him bared and ready for action.

  Oh my God. This was really happening. I had to be totally crazy…and right now, here with him, I wouldn’t have had it any other way. I wanted this. I wanted to feel alive, and I wanted and needed to feel safe in the arms of a man who was looking down at me with the most restraint and desire that I had ever seen. A hungry yearning that wasn’t dirty or deranged, but that was pure and patient and gentle.

  A tug backward brought us to the edge of my bed. Tipping back, a quick claim of Adamaris’s neck pulled him down on top of me, crushing me with the most delicious weight that the breathlessness made me dizzy. One of his arms snaked around my back, the other pressed into the bed. Lifting me with ease, our position straightened, my head hitting the soft pillow.

  Adamaris stared down at me, a look looming in his eyes that I’d never seen before. Rapture, desire, and something so much more profound that I couldn’t puzzle out. “I never thought your kind would appeal to me,” he said through rapid breaths. “I never intended to get caught by your natural charms, but I can’t help it. The moment I saw you in that lecture room, and every moment thereafter gave me no choice. Like a fish on a fisherman’s line, I’m hooked. And I don’t want to fight it anymore. I’ve never allowed anyone to break through the barrier before, but you have
. Your selflessness, your abrasive charm, your beauty…I’m done for. I want you, Calliope, in so many ways I can hardly describe.”

  Reaching up, I cupped my palm over the cultivated stubble along his jaw. My smile was genuine, and my words were spoken without any hesitation. “You have me.”

  I pulled him down and he relented, reclaiming my waiting lips with a slowness that was heavenly and excruciating at the same time. Every stroke was perfection, every sweep of his tongue over mine delivered utter bliss. The feeling of his hands gliding down my sides and exploring every curve of my body set my skin on fire. No longer wet from the stream, sweat now sprouted over our bodies as I gasped in ecstasy and he moaned in pleasure. His hard plains and ridges slid under my fingertips like butter, smooth and yet so solid I found myself squeezing his biceps and digging my nails into his back before sliding down to his backside. Devouring my mouth, his hand around my back climbed up my spine, finding the clasp of my bra. A quick flick released the strap and, leaning up on one arm, he peeled the lace away. The way his jaw clenched at the sight warmed my core even more. I arched up and reclaimed his open mouth, bringing his hard chest down on top of my own. His free hand met my ribs, then dipped in between us, learning the exposed curves and small peaks I’d revealed. My legs shifted beneath him, separating to bring him closer to me.

  I’d never been sure about much of anything in my life, but right here at this moment I was certain about Adamaris and what I needed from him. Feeling the connection down below between us, he jerked back with a hiss and stared down at me, panting as fast as I was. “Calli, we don’t—”

  “Yes, we do.” In my shithole loft and in the middle of my crap of a life, the voices were gone and so was my fear. In Adamaris’s arms I felt strong and alive. I felt like I could take on the world and all the monsters so long as I had him by my side. “Will you stay?”

  Had I really just asked him to move in with me? My stalker and the guy I was about to give myself to?

  Adamaris caught my chin, forcing my darting eyes to look up at him. That cocky dimpled smile was back, but an air of sincerity softened his eyes. “I couldn’t leave you if I tried.”

  A smile beamed from my lips and my pelvis tilted, giving him the green light. “Then don’t.”

  And then there was no more separation, our bodies becoming one as he pressed upward and his chest kissed mine. “You’re mine now, Calli. I’ll never let you go.”

  And I hoped he never would.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Half draped over Adamaris’s body on my bed, I toyed with the hairless plains of his chest, breathing in his scent and totally blissed out. Last night with him had been perfect, new, and exciting. The start of something I had never imagined experiencing or even wanting for myself. His heart beat steadily beneath my ear, rhythmic and calming. My leg draped over his waist poked out from the sheets, my knee held by his large hand like he was keeping me close even while asleep.

  How had this happened? It was like every wish I’d never dared to want had come true.

  Looking golden under the growing light that streamed in through the window, I planted a kiss to Adamaris’s neck and he stirred. His hand around my back came alive with a gentle brush of his fingers over my skin. Still naked in his arms, those parts of me that had been dormant for almost my entire life warmed at the thought of round two…though after the acrobatics of last night, it would be more like round four. I smiled at the thought and nuzzled into him, amazed he was still here in my loft with me wrapped in his arms. Had I somehow won the sexiest guy of the year lottery?

  “Morning, Princess.”

  Adamaris brushed his lips over my forehead, his fingers along the curve of my waist tickling me. His other hand released my knee as he turned toward me on the bed, hands catching together behind my back to trap me against him.

  “Sleep well?”

  “Like the dead…uh…” Something caught my eye, and I gave up my tracing of his pec and hardened nipple, shifting my hand to grab and twist his arm. “What is that?”

  On the inner length of his thick forearm was the tattoo I’d glimpsed on the very first day he showed up in my life and turned my world upside down. It was a swirling infinity symbol that shimmered turquoise in the dull light. Well, it looked like a tattoo, sort of, except for the glittered, almost moving effect of the fluid hourglass shaped lines.

  Adamaris drew in a deep breath and held it before blowing it out loudly. His eyes flicked up to mine, a question swirling in them that I guessed before he said it out loud. “Do you want the truth?”

  No. “Yes.”

  “Really?”

  My head and my heart were at odds. So much crazy had gone down in the past week. I’d slept with my freaking stalker for crying out loud! Plus there was a frightening monster after me that could appear at any moment to hunt me down. But after last night, I knew one thing. I wanted Adamaris in my life, and if his crazy matched my crazy, well then, I guess we were a perfect match. Besides, I couldn’t stick my head in the sand and pretend like everything was normal. Nothing ever had been for me, and it wasn’t turning around now. I’d questioned him so many times, to refuse the truth now when he was offering it would be the stupidest thing I had done to date. I finally had something to lose, and I needed to be prepared. This time, I would fight to keep what mattered to me. I wouldn’t be that naive and helpless child again. I would be stronger, braver, and ready…

  Taking a deep breath, I bit my lip and nodded. “Yeah. I want the truth. All of it.”

  “I’m Mer.”

  My face scrunched, puzzling out the short admission. Totally not what I was expecting. “So, your name isn’t Adama—”

  “No, Calli. Not my name. What I am. Mer. A merman.”

  Okaaaay. Last call for Crazy Town. Population you. I mean, yeah, I’d seen crazy stuff, even things that would make sense if what he claimed were true, but seriously? Had my fiery roots just turned blonde?

  “You don’t believe me?”

  That cheeky smile pulled at one side of his mouth, surprising me that his reaction wasn’t irritated by my clear lack of belief when he could chop and change emotions so easily. He pulled the sheet draped over his hip down, and I tingled in anticipation of a repeat of last night. My face burned red with a rush of heat and primal hunger. “If you wanted to distract me with sexy time, all you had to do—”

  I flat out stopped speaking, gagging on nothing as my eyes peeled wide. No effing way.

  “Shut the front door.”

  “The door to your loft is closed.” Adamaris frowned. “So is the warehouse. You even put the alarm on when I carried you in last night.”

  I didn’t reply, mouth gaping at the view of him below the waist—and not because he was hung like a stallion. Which he was. But that was not even part of what I could see from the exposed area below his waist. Scales fanned out, shiny black and rimmed in glittering gold, covering him only across one hip and partway down his thighs. They began to fade, and he slid the sheet back into place before his manhood reappeared.

  “It’s hard to transform out of the water. Even fresh water can be a struggle…” Warmth bloomed across my chin, and I realized it was his hand forcing my face up to meet his intense stormy eyes. “Say something.”

  The worried look on his face revealed an air of vulnerability that was impossible for his clenched jaw to hide.

  “I—I would never have believed it. I—”

  “Are you afraid?” His hand fell from my face.

  “Of you?” I had been terrified in the beginning, freaking out at his constant appearances and disappearances, his cryptic threats, promises, and demands, and then scared at the thought of him not coming back when I kept pushing him away. But now… “No. Not at all. Not anymore.” I smiled at his released breath and touched his cheek, getting a buzz of recognition at the rough stubble that had grazed over my face, neck, chest, and even between my thighs last night. I was living in a dream…but this time, I didn’t want to wake up. �
�You make me feel safe.”

  “But it is not safe here.”

  Adamaris’s narrowed stare hit me right in the heart. The rest of last night came flooding in, escaping the tiny spot in the dark recesses of my mind that I’d locked it away in. “What’s after me? And why are you protecting me?”

  The strengthening light through the window caught across Adamaris’s golden chest as he arched up on one arm, peering down at me as if trying to see past the fear that now had a hold of my blushing face. He nodded to the symbol along his forearm. Now that I was looking at it under the soft streaming sunlight, I could see the edges weren’t solid but sort of faded, a hint of transparency shifting over the curved lines. “This was a gift from your mother. The sea witch. It’s a link to your life-force, proof that you are safe…or that you are in danger. When it first started fading, I knew it was time. I knew danger was closing in on you.”

  I tugged the sheet around me as I pushed up and crossed my legs to face him on the bed. My backside was right on the edge, but I managed to keep my balance by clinging to his lifted arm as my head spun. “A sea witch. My mom? And your tattoo tells you if I’m in danger, and my mom gave it to you? No. That doesn’t make any sense. My mom was human. She died”—vanished—“when I was four. How the hell would she give you a tattoo? You would have been a kid too.”

  “I was seven.” Three years older than me. Which made him a strapping twenty-two. “And the story is long, but it’s true. Your mother didn’t die in this warehouse, she made it to the ocean just in time. And my father accepted the deal. Your song in exchange for your protection. I’m the eldest, and the deal fell to me. One I never wanted, one I despised my father for putting on me as a child, but…” Adamaris caught my face in his broad hands, making me look at him as I tried to fight back tears of confusion and rejection. “But one that I am so grateful he entrusted to me. Now that I know you, Calliope, I can’t regret anything from before or anything that is to come. Every moment of watching you made that clear. Being with you last night did too. It changed everything for me. You changed everything. And I will tell you it all, every story, every detail, but not here.”